June 15, 2016 at 6:11 pm #12533
My dear friends
I have been on this site for years. Some of you have become close to my heart, especially you Sheri. There were days when the clouds were so heavy. Your words of encouragement saw me through. I have finally reached a place of inner peace.
Yesterday I was able to write all my final wishes and letters down. Years ago, my estranged daughter would have received in part, a letter from a sad bitter old woman. The final draft was one that projected my love, hope, and dreams for her. No mention of pain or sorrow. She is already aware I am sure. I let her know she would receive no financial gain. Not because of what she said to hurt us, but she quit her job as a family member. It is work to make a family. Actually hard work. Her non involvement does not reap financial benefits. Her choice and these are the ramifications. No more needed to be said. The road our ECs go on is what they deem to be right for them. I know it is futile to inflict any further barriers. With that said, I know it is time for me to forge ahead a stronger, happier woman. I hold my head high a try to project grace and tolerance. I guess I knew when I could say good bye to all of you, thank you for your support and love. Sheri, you have my email and phone number. Call me any time if you need anything! Love mjmom
June 15, 2016 at 11:56 pm #12540
Well put, Mjmom ” . . . she quit her job as a family member.” My daughter has done the same. I wish you lots of love, happiness and strength in every thing you do. Take care.
June 15, 2016 at 11:57 pm #12541
MJmom, I will miss you so very much. Your words have inspired me and have given me inner strength. I wish you well on your journey, but most of all I wish you peace and joy in your heart. Rainbow
June 16, 2016 at 1:16 pm #12557
I find it’s thoughtful when people post to let us know they are leaving the site. I also would say, as Rainbow has said, Mjmom, I’ve learned from you, as I have from others here. It’s nice to see a familiar ‘nom de plume’ when coming onto the site, to bounce ideas off one another. I shall miss your insight. Tetbury, please stay with us here.
June 16, 2016 at 1:58 pm #12559
“Inner peace” has such a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Like bells of joy singing out from within, or perhaps humming evenly in the background, or even being still and silent in, as you say, grace.
All of what you say in your note here is beautiful and lovely–a perfect testament to that peace. I have to say, that among all of your posts to the support forum, I’ve seen/heard/read that peace. Oh sure, it might have been hovering in the background from time to time, but it was there. I knew this day was coming for you to say goodbye to the group. Although the good-bye is sad, and you will be missed, I will think of you from time to time, and imagine you skipping out into the sunniest of days. And I know there will be people waiting for you in other realms of life, causes, meaningful work, family, or whatever else you choose–and you will make a difference to those meet and greet.
Maybe we will meet again!
Love, and hugs, and a salute to you!
June 16, 2016 at 9:19 pm #12577
Tetbury, as Aussiemom has stated and I am repeating her words, “please stay here with us.” Bunches of hugs sent your way. Rainbow
June 17, 2016 at 2:04 pm #12595
Rainbow and AussieMom, you are very special people. There is so much wisdom and understanding. I have learned much about this awful thing estrangement and about accepting what I cannot change. I would never want to lose contact with you all or Sheri. Lots of love.
June 17, 2016 at 4:57 pm #12603
Wonderful, Tetbury, because the exchange of information for me is what I treasure most. You’ve been through the mill and back and are still managing to function well in your life and with your attitude. Rainbow, as I’ve said before, you’re like a gentle rainshower on the hurt and pain of estrangement. Lessons Learned, Lost inC, Mjmom, Blue Sky, Phoenix, how many I may miss, please, it’s called a brainfart at my age…some will stay, some will leave but I gain strength through connecting…as I’ve said before, thank you all. And mostly to Sheri for having the foresight to place this forum on the internet. See how much it is needed.
June 19, 2016 at 12:44 am #12642
Tetbury, you made my day. I am glad to hear you are staying. Aussiemom, TC, TheBluesky, Lessons Learned, MJmom, Phoenix, Lost in C and I am sure my senior brain has left out some other names, all of you have truly given me the inner strength and courage to move forward. I am no longer alone! I have truly found friends who understand this journey. Sheri, thank you for keeping this site up and running. It is our lighthouse during the storm. Love, Rainbow
June 20, 2016 at 10:35 pm #12703
Thank you, MJMom. I have learned a lot from you. I have also learned that I am not ready to leave this support group yet after my knee jerk reaction of contacting ED2 about a family matter that in actuality did not concern her since she has, as you so succinctly put it, quit her job as a family member.
Thank you for showing me that there are others walking with grace along this path and that my “new normal” is, in fact, normal.
I don’t post much, but checking in every day or so seems to be enough to keep away the knee jerk reactions that make me open myself up to more by pain trying to walk somebody else’s path and live somebody else’s normal.
This is not the life I would have chosen, but it can still be a good life.
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