To the fathers of estranged adult children who have come upon my book, Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children
Fathers of estranged adult children often ask:
- Why did you exclude the fathers?
To answer, here’s an excerpt from the book:
A Note to Fathers
You might wonder why I have chosen to direct this book to mothers. In the support forum at www.RejectedParents.NET, and among the thousands of parents who completed my survey, the vast majority are mothers. In fact, less than seven percent of my survey respondents were fathers. Of these, a great many ticked off only the basic, categorical answers, ignoring the empty boxes in which so many mothers poured out their sadness as they wrote in their stories. That’s why I have chosen to title and direct the book to mothers as the main audience—but that doesn’t mean this book won’t help you.
Women frequently report that their husbands aren’t as burdened by the estrangement as they are. It’s more likely that you handle your emotions in different, and perhaps more subtle ways. The fact is that regardless of gender, no two individuals are the same. We all process emotions and handle problems differently, based on a variety of factors such as personality, upbringing, and our particular history.
While the stories in the book are from the mother’s perspective, many of the examples are of couples, and include the experiences of fathers. Some passages directly highlight men’s reactions by using my husband’s emotions, as well as the reactions of other men. The principles presented are relevant to fathers, and the strategies for coping can be used by anyone.
One parent recently told me they appreciated the way the title was arranged. The subtitle is very small, so the subject matter isn’t obvious–making it easy to carry inconspicuously.