Category Archives: NewsFlash

New estrangement research beats a dead horse (October 2021)

new estrangement research

DUH.

Do you remember that word from childhood? Maybe you remember it with an eye roll: Duh-Uh.

The word came to mind when I read of a recent survey study on estrangement.

“New” estrangement research

The survey of 1,035 mothers of estranged adult children asked the women about the cause of the estrangement. Many of the moms talked about people who stirred up trouble between them and their adult children. I called these people “influential adversaries” in my book, Done With The Crying. They include the estranged parent’s ex-spouse, a son- or daughter-in-law, or other family members or friends who create division. Nearly two thirds of rejected moms from the new research also talked about an adult child’s mental illness or an addiction as contributing to estrangement.

My own estrangement research consists of more than 50,000 responses to surveys for parents of estranged adult children. I have also personally interviewed hundreds of abandoned moms, dads, and siblings, and I interact with them daily (as well as am a rejected mother myself).

All of this “new” information reads like yesterday’s news. But what is even older is that when the study authors looked at existing research, they found that the adult children cited different reasons for their choice to estrange.

Did you catch that? The adult children who estranged themselves disagreed with their mothers.

Duh-Uh.

Estrangement: Very real issues

I could go on here about the very real problem of parental alienation syndrome, about how those with personality disorders can be neurotically possessive to the point of isolating another person from their own family, and how these persons will generally blame everyone else for their problems … but I won’t.

Many, maybe even most, of you, the loving parents who are rejected by adult children and read this blog, are familiar with one or more of these issues. You have lived through them and suffered the consequences. The supposed revelations of this “new” estrangement research is old news to you, too.

DUH.

Hugs from Sheri McGregor

For some genuinely new and helpful info, my latest book will be out very soon.

Reference:

Schoppe-Sullivan, S. J. et al, Mothers’ attributions for estrangement from their adult children, Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice (2021). doi.org/10.1037/cfp0000198

Rejected Parents NewsFlash: Heartache and Tears Quilt, Canadian Grandparents Rights Association

By Sheri McGregor (2021, July)

Have you ever heard of Christmas in July? That’s my excuse to share this video, produced in December 2020, that highlights Heartache and Tears Quilt. Created by grandparents across Canada who have been denied the right to see their precious grandchildren, the close-ups of the individual squares in the video tell the heartbreaking story (tearjerker alert!).

The Canadian Grandparents Rights Association promotes grandparents rights and helps families re-establish broken ties.

Grandparents Rights

Current volunteer president of the Canadian Grandparents Rights Association, Daphne Jennings, has written a book, featuring the Heartache and Tears Quilt on its cover. The book: The Canadian Grandparents Story: It’s Never Too Late to Say I’m Sorry, gets to the heart of the organization’s mission.

Hugs from Sheri McGregor

Related Reading

Wall of Silence: an artistic expression about living with estrangement