In September, Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children won an award. It took a bronze medal in the self-help/personal growth category of the Living Now Book Awards, which had more than 800 total entries.
That’s actually a medal hanging over the book in the photograph. It came on a grosgrain ribbon. Maybe one day, I’ll put it around my neck and actually wear it. Maybe I’ll have a tee-shirt made with the image, too (even more fun to wear!).
Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children–Only the bronze?
While it would have been great to win a gold or silver medal, the fact that this book for a niche audience among many aimed at more general audiences feels like taking the gold!
I can’t help but think that this award is not only validation that Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children
Isn’t this proof that the topic of estrangement is becoming much more mainstream? Hopefully, that means more people are coming to realize that there are many kind and supportive parents who are absolutely shocked when their grown children choose to hurt them. The loss is devastating, and the secondary trauma of being judged unfairly makes it that much worse.
Let’s celebrate!
Please join me in celebrating this award. I want to thank all the parents of estranged adults who visit this site and who have read Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. This victory is yours.
If you’d like to see some of the other contest winners, you can go to Living Now Book Awards page. Done With The Crying is listed on the second linked page of winners.
Celebrate and share your thoughts by “leaving a reply” to this article.
HUGS to all the hurting parents,
Sheri McGregor
A sampling of articles to help hurting parents of estranged adults (you can use the pull-down menus to find more, or use the search box to look for particular subjects)
- Fortitude doesn’t mean going it alone
- Estrangement: What about hope?
- The boat (a reader favorite)
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Reply to Loretta H., Hi Loretta, I know the feelings you are experiencing, as do Sheri and the rest of us in this online community. I try to turn my perspective around and focus on what we gained, not having people who could be so cruel to us, in our lives anymore. You grieve, time goes by, you adjust and fill your life with things you enjoy, walks, books, movies, pets, hobbies, volunteer work, visit a friend, etc. I didn’t have a Betty Crocker type of mother, by any means, but I could never imagine her not being in my kids lives. She did the best she could with what she knew and what she had. We were the Superman & Superwoman of parents to our kids, we gave them the childhood we both wished we could of had. I read a line once that said you can be the best parents ever and still have bad kids. I have also witnessed parents who made terrible choices and saw their kids thrive despite their parents mistakes, and never estrange. Having children is a DNA gamble, you never know what you are going to get. Think of it as an opportunity to build a brand new life, one filled with freedom. The chance to see what new paths you can wander down and explore.
Faith: What you told me did me good, it helped me. A good father can have bad children and that having children is a bet on DNA. I finally found an inexplicable answer. Thank you
Faith, prayer, patience and perseverance have become my mainstay. I am finished with playing the blame game and the victim in this incomprehensible situation. I have been concentrating on my own life and finding peace. I’m surrounded with love and understanding from my family. It’s a dayby day process. The sound of little children laughing however, snaps me into the reality that I will never have that experience with my six young grandchildren again.
Rhett
Loretta,
It’s sad that one of the loveliest sounds, children laughing, takes you to a distressed place of what you lack. I’m so very sorry. In time, I hope that with conscious effort, awareness, and intent, you can find joy in children’s laughter, smile, and perhaps even laugh again.
Hugs to you,
Sheri McGregor
I’m not sure if this correct format. I’m brand new to this estrangement. I am recently divorced after 38 years of control and verbal abuse. My adult children have chosen to be united with their father. My six grandchildren have been taken away from me. I was notified through a family member that I have a new grandson. My son notified me that he got married last week. He told me that he was not ready to have any contact with me.
I homeschooled my three children and we became very close. I taught them so many social skills that invaluable.
I am totally lost, confused and sad!
Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated!
Hi there I’m also new to this. I have 4 grown up children and 2 of them have decided not to have me in their lives. My daughter has also taken away my 2 grandsons, who I had bonded with an adored. My husband had a drunken one night stand which resulted in 2 very serious STIs around the time my mother was in the later stages of dementia. She died 3 weeks after I found out about my husband of 34years infidelity. The kids have turned it around as an I predicted I’ve taken the brunt of their Dad’s actions and their Gran passing. I’m in so much pain. I’ve gone back to work but as I work in Early Years it just reminds me of my grandsons. My husband and I have worked through this and are very strong and he is so sorry. I just can’t erase the thought of him with her. I miss my mum and just feel at times no one would notice if I disappeared. My oldest daughter graduated today and I found out through social media. I made loads of mistakes when parenting but I tried hard with the skills that I had. I love my family but I really don’t like them.. that in turn makes me feel guilty but I can’t go on feeling like this and being a punch bag and the blame for everything that’s went wrong in their lives.
Just want to say that after 11years, my son is communicating with me – and lovingly. I am so shocked. It was a very painful several years. The reasons for his estrangement are totally surprising to me. He felt responsible and guilty for causing suffering because of some of his actions. They were painful, but only because we loved him and hated to see him have difficulties. Did he think that “no contact” would be easier to deal with? I don’t know. Anyway I feel like I have gotten a piece of my heart back. Just posting this because I am wondering if any other estranged adult children might have a similar reason, or if something like this might be part of a reason.