December 25, 2016 at 9:42 pm #19705tiredmomParticipant
Well, I did it.
I sent a text message to my ED and her boyfriend, stating that this is a time of year that we put our differences aside and wished them a Merry Christmas.
And I don’t regret sending it, knowing I most likely won’t get a response.
Merry Christmas to all!
December 26, 2016 at 8:41 am #19727AnnParticipant
Happy Boxing Day tiredmom 🙂
I felt the same when I sent my ED a wedding anniversary card last month saying I was sending genuine best wishes to them both. Since then things have moved on – since my sister contacted my daughter who emailed back making it clear “our relationship” was over for good but I knew that anyway.
I have done really well since her email to my sister. Yesterday my niece and my sister prepared Xmas dinner at my niece’s house. There were eleven of us including my sister’s other daughter and my sister’s five grandchildren who are all lovely. Everything was going brilliantly until we came to leave and without any prompting two of my niece’s teenage children (12 & 15) got up and gave me the biggest hugs ever. It almost broke my heart. Why? Because I’d spent the time realising that my husband, my ED and I had nothing compared to this family who so obviously love one another. I’d watched my niece and her husband bantering with each other and the children and saw how much he supports her. And the hugs from the two children were hugs I’d never had from my daughter since she was 14 and decided she preferred her dad who most definitely preferred her. I lived in a very COLD house. Their hugs made me realise just how very cold it was thanks to my husband and sadly, thanks to my daughter who took after him in every way.
Today is Boxing Day and onwards we all go. I’m spending it with my sister, her husband, her daughter and her 2 year old. I will never have grand children but in a small way, I can maybe share my sister’s. I think that’s why those two hugs yesterday (amongst all the others) almost swallowed me up.
December 26, 2016 at 3:45 pm #19729AlexandraParticipant
Thank you TiredMom for your Christmas wishes. Ann, how wonderful that you were part of a big family gathering and that you got loved on by those special children. Lots of joy to be found out there.
December 26, 2016 at 9:17 pm #19757kittylvrParticipant
Ann, I’m so happy you’d have those unconditional hugs, true love that was, is. I think my thought, if we’ve others in our lives we love and they us, that we are blessed. You are not alone. The path just changes a bit. I’m happy you’ve your sisters family.
December 27, 2016 at 4:57 am #19781SunflowersDayParticipant
Well, tiredmom, your name sums it all up. I’m a very tired mom too. I hope the new year is a bright one for you. Full of new things to keep you looking to the future and not back into the darkness.
I too sent that message. I have done the very same thing. Its just part of who we are deep inside and of the particular unique journey we are each taking.
My daughter texted back “Merry Christmas Mom”.
Its a start, a very small one but I thought for hours how to reply if at all. She might have limited time on this earth unless God answers my prayers for a miracle. I sent her part of a poem, one she read to me once. I added a photo I had taken of a river near here. I wanted her to know that I understand what she struggles with when things feel so terrible. It was about her. Not me. Not my sadness and pain. It was about Hope for her future.
I texted her back a Merry Christmas. Now the ball is in her court for whatever she needs from me or needs to say. I will be here always.
We think the same in some ways but although she is my daughter, we live on different planets when it comes to our reactions to situations and our emotional needs. I understand more now since being here on this forum. I’ve been through the ringer emotionally and I bet she has too.
I wish that all of my friends here find some peace in the new year whatever your circumstances. I wish all of you renewed strength that comes from a new understanding of ourselves.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.