Forum Replies Created
Hello, Beautiful Aussie Mom. Have been thinking of you and the friends that saw me through my darkest times. I’ve never for a day, have forgotten Sheri , you, and so many here where we talked one another through a seemingly impossible journey.
I am happy to see you continuing to gift your seasoned advice, humor and wit. I cannot say that I am 100% at peace, but as our bodies and hearts march on we have to choose how we disperse our energy.
A Very Merry Christmas to you my friend 🎄
Peace and Love always,
Mjmom, I too am very protective of my husband. He works physically hard every day at his job, this time of year in exhausting heat. My ES and my emotionally distant daughter are not his biological children. But he , the last almost twenty years, recognized, supported, and embraced them as his own. When the crap hit the fan five years ago, with my son and daughter, he would fluctuate between anger and sobbing pain along with me. Given that, I have through these years felt just as much pain for him as myself. He opened his heart, our home, and down the road gave up his comfort zone to be near them to what we thought would satisfy my longing, and what we truly believed would be a positive move and undertaking. It fell to pieces in two months. This guy never once held me responsible for uprooting us, throwing our lives into an emotional and financial crisis. We have recovered for the most part. But he still gives my daughter the benefit of the doubt, and I suppose I can only love him more for that. He is a kind, forgiving soul. And makes me pause a little bit now and then. This, I believe is an ongoing journey of discovery of ourselves outside of our EC. Which we may have encountered, faced, regardless of the event of estrangement.
Much love, peace, and healthy well being to you and your husband. We hang tight.
Dear Rainbow, I hope you are feeling a little better today. I agree with Yellowrose that we can still love our EC, but don’t have the energy to care anymore. Not so easy to do with grandchildren though. Your sadness speaks volumes of
the love you have in you to give. After five years, I too have my difficult days and moments, and start to question, again, how this could have possibly happened given the love my son was given, and I am only left with being able to shake my head and walk away from the past.
I hope you you enjoyed the sunshine and breathed it into your heart.
Peace and Love to you,
Dear Dazed and Confused…..what a wonderful, inspiring post! Yes, we are Alive! Even though we may have been the walking dead for a while, I live a pretty simple life, my passion was my flower garden for years, then five years ago I just sat, literally on my butt, watching my garden die from lack of care. My garden is now ALIVE…..thriving, beautiful…because I decided it needed my love. I look forward to it every day, beginning with snail patrol, and getting to know the needs of every plant…their placement and preference.
My husband and I for the first time in fifteen years last fall spent a week in a 1934 cabin in the deep woods. Playing music, reading, doing yoga. It was divine. That was stretching our budget, but since then I have informed my not estranged, but emotionally distant daughter that we will no longer be sending money for birthdays, holidays etc. as we have in the past, as we need to save that money for retirement and a secret getaway now and then. They make four times the money we do, and I finally figured out that they will not suffer without our small contributions. A thoughtful card and sentiment I think is enough, especially because gifts to us are an emoji text for occasions, and a gift maybe every three years. It’s not tit for tat, but more being reasonable, yes, in our favor at this point.
Five years now estranged from my son. Not a word. And I’m okay with it now. Of course I think of him, his happiness, health and well being. And the occasional what the hell happened thought that might blow my mind for a day or two. But as the years pass, ever so quickly now, there is no time to give to grief anymore.
It sounds like you girls are ready for fun!! You, we, all deserve to be ALIVE and enjoy life to the fullest!! Wish we could see pictures here. I’ll use my imagination!
Peace and Love 🤘🌻💕
Oh Rainbow, I too think about you and your husband often, the bond we had, and hope that you are healthy and happy. I have my ups and downs now five years estranged, this past few months somehow affecting me more with feelings of loss. Slowly reading through recent posts here with so many new members. So happy that Sheri has kept this site going for so many needing this support.
Peace and Love my dear friend
Hi Aussiemom, I’ve just checked in, a broken kneecap?
I think of you often…..and of all of our past exchanges. I dont have much time either, working my tired tail off ..still off and on feeling the residuals of the loss of a son.
Peace and Love and healing thoughts and vibes to you.
Hi MJmom, I came on looking for a familiar face and saw your post. So, you grabbed my attention with the pee washcloth. Yes my son kicked my butt five years ago and I went from looking like someone who was ten years younger then my age, to one who looked older then my age. I’ve heard of drinking pee for vitality (could never do it), but I just might try this. Maybe not after eating asparagus though.
Love and Peace to you my friend.
A few things bugging me lately, so maybe for now pee pee on the face is a short term solution.
Dear Iso, so lovely. And speaks volumes in not just what you are as a mother, but that of a beautiful human being.
From observing , replying on this site beginning almost five years ago, the dynamics of age, geographics, culture, socioeconomic circumstance, spousal influence, loving devotion, sweet memories, horrible memories, etc, as expressed tens of thousands of times here, and here we all landed, with the same burning questions that we can sort through all the logic in the world to answer, some of it individually can make sense, but for me, there can be no explanation, other than if child was abused, that , in my circumstance, that a grown man, yes a 33 year old man, could choose to do this, is that he just simply does not care. I don’t wonder anymore why he doesn’t care, what could have possibly caused him to be so cruel, or that he chose to follow in the steps of his selfish, hateful father, and toss the love shone him all his life by me to this point aside? It doesn’t matter to me , the whys about him any longer. I have searched my soul, my actions, my every freaking move since the day he was born, and this was not warranted, needed, should never have been.
Just seeing if I’m still on board here. The phone format does not let me see my whole reply. Tried desktop and submitted but don’t know if my response went through that way. Sorry if off topic here. Just holding that my user name still worked.
From observing , replying on this site beginning almost five years ago, the dynamics of age, geographics, culture, socioeconomic circumstance, spousal influence, loving devotion, sweet memories, horrible memories, etc, as expressed tens of thousands of times here, and here we all landed, with the same burning questions that we can sort through all the logic in the world to answer, some of it individually can make sense, but for me, there can be no explanation, other than a child was a abused, that , in my circumstance, that a grown man, yes a 33 year old man, could choose to do this, is that he just simply does not care. I don’t wonder anymore why he doesn’t care, what could have possibly caused him to be so cruel, or that he chose to follow in the steps of his selfish, hateful father, and toss the love shone him all his life by me to this point aside? It doesn’t matter to me , the whys about him any longer. I have searched my soul, my actions, my every freaking move since the day he was born, and this was not warranted, needed, should never have been.