tiredmom

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Viewing 11 posts - 23 through 33 (of 46 total)
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  • in reply to: Prayers please #9702
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Kmap-
    I hope you have a great evening with friends!
    The best thing about talking with a therapist is that they are an objective party. You can be straighforward and honest.

    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Kmap-
    I encourage you to seek help through your EAP.
    I have only been estranged from my ED for just over a year and I have had good and bad days.
    I am also in counseling now. What I have learned from the wonderful people on this site is that we need to take care of ourselves.
    I don’t think there is a “perfect” parent-you try our best and that is all you can do.
    You definitely came to the right place for support.

    in reply to: Fog of pain #9610
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Welcome TWhy-
    None of us want to be in this situation, but it is good to know that you have a support group that understands what you are going through.
    Hang in there!

    in reply to: Advice from Therapist #9435
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Thank you all for your input.
    Rainbow-your perspective “hit the nail on the head.”
    Today, I texted my ED-“I think we need to work things out.”
    At this time, I have not received a response and most likely will not.
    Amazingly, I feel at peace because I have “extended the olive branch.” Rainbow, like you, I accept that I accept that I cannot change (this situation or my ED).
    I did not feel comfortable with saying “I love you. I miss you” as, in my opinion, would only give her satisfaction.
    The last time I tried to contact her via a letter (last summer), I reminded her that life is short, there are no rewinds.
    Thanks to all for your input. You have all been a comfort and I hope I can provide the same.

    in reply to: Therapy–and I saw the light #9302
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Suego-thank you for presenting this topic.
    No disrespect to you all as I would never wish this on anyone-but I am glad I am not alone.
    I have been a “peacemaker” for a long time. I remember not wanting to “rock the boat” when my parents split up for 6 months. I have remained in that role since.
    I too, have taken verbal abuse for years from my ED, who I believe has undiagnosed bipolar disease.
    So many times when she called, I wasn’t sure who I would be talking to- a reasonable adult and a shrew!
    I just started therapy this week. My therapist is hoping I could eventually contact my ED-not sure I want to, quite frankly.

    Wish we get together for virtual coffee clatch.
    Have a blessed Easter.

    in reply to: I,m Back #9148
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Crushed-
    So sorry that has happened! So selfish of your ED to be so inconsiderate of your feelings and finances.
    I hope it all works out.

    in reply to: The Reagans #9049
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    I too, remember hearing of Patti Davis’ estrangment from her parents. Rainbow, you are so right-it doesn’t matter if you are President of the United States, middle-class or of low-income. None of us are immune.
    I do believe they handled such a painful situation with great dignity.

    in reply to: Continue to pay for her? #8976
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    Hi all!
    When my ED decided to cut ties with me and my husband (her stepfather who has been wonderful to her), I decided “why should I pay for her phone if she isn’t even talking to me?”
    I also took her off my car insurance (she actually paid her portion) as I did not want to take a chance of any liability.
    Maybe this is pushing it too far, but I also took her off as beneficiary to any life insurance policies, leaving only my husband and son as beneficiaries.
    She has/had a good job of which my husband was instrumental in her getting that position.
    I just don’t feel that I can pay for anything for her anymore.

    in reply to: I want something that doesn’t exist. #8386
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    GaPhoto, Aussiemom, Phoenix and Rainbow-
    I also have cherished memories of my son and ED’s childhood. I raised them for many years as a single parent.
    I am sure that my ED has twisted every memory into something else.
    I will continue to have positive recollections of my son and ED’s childhood and not let her negativity drag me down.
    I am sure we all did our best parenting these children-we need to remember that.

    in reply to: Forgiveness #8269
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    MLou-
    I agree with Mjmom and Rainbow-you may write such a letter, read it, but then destroy it. It may be cathartic, allowing you to verbalize what you are feeling. But destroy the letter for 2 reasons: destroying the letter may be symbolic and releasing those feelings you presently have, and by destroyiing the letter, you do not take a chance that someone may find it and read it someday.
    I agree with Sheri-forgive and LET GO-it can provide such a relief.
    Also, I do not think presenting yourself at your EC’s workplace is wise-this may only cause regret and eventually more pain for you.

    in reply to: Odd Day #8023
    Avatartiredmom
    Participant

    TC and Rainbow-
    I have been estranged from my ED for almost one year. I have had feelings of hurt, anger, and grief. I have left the door open should my ED want to re-connect, but I am at the point (maybe for now) that I am reconciled to the fact she most likely will not attempt to contact me again.
    I do miss her, but I cannot tear myself up any longer over this-it is not healthy.
    I am getting into counseling in hopes to learn to heal.
    I am so fortunate to find this website-thank you for all your wise words.

Viewing 11 posts - 23 through 33 (of 46 total)