The Boat

think about yourself instead of grown childrenA Grown Child’s Rejection: The Boat

by Sheri McGregor, M.A.

Parents of estranged children may suffer insults, be called names, and be told they never did enough. They have fond memories of their sweet children, and recall themselves as always giving. To the best of their ability, these parents were generous, kind, and supportive. But their estranged adult children tell a different story. Maybe they say these moms and dads who did their best should never have had children. They’re told they weren’t rich enough to provide graduate school, didn’t let their sons or daughters do enough when they were kids, didn’t give them music lessons . . . You fill in the blanks.

We can’t control their perception any more than we can control their adult behavior. At some point, adults are responsible for their own lives. They can blame, inflict pain and abandon us. They may leave us struggling in their wake—-but we don’t have to stay there.

We cannot go back and change the past. If we feel we have done something wrong, we can apologize, ask for forgiveness and to try again, but we can’t force our children to participate in our future.

We can make the best possible decisions now though. We can think of ourselves rather than our grown children. We can make choices to benefit ourselves, and act on them. Right or wrong, our estranged adult children have decided what they’ve decided.

Will you remain the wake of your grown child’s rejection?

Imagine your child is on a boat, and that you are in the water below. See your son or daughter dropping all sorts of poison off the back of the boat. Imagine the angry, stinking words they have flung at you. See those poisonous words hitting the water with a splash. Acrid smoke rises from them. It stings your eyes, fills your lungs so you can barely breathe. You feel as if you’ll choke.

You cough and gag. But your child isn’t done yet. A net rises from the murky depths, stretching across the open water. You can’t swim toward the boat without getting caught, tangled in a hurting web you don’t understand. Your child throws out hooks, spills out chum that attracts vicious sharks.

Dazed and confused, you call out. “Wait. Help. Can’t we talk?”  But your child takes the helm. The boat speeds away.

See the wake of the boat, feel the choppy waves, smell the acrid fumes rising from their spiteful words, and see those sharks. . . . Now, what do you do?

Do you stay in that spot, paralyzed, barely able to hold your head above water as the sharks lunge and bite at the net?

Do you wait there, expending precious energy as you tread water, determined you can fix this no matter what? The horrible toxic clouds fill your lungs. . . .

Do you swim toward the net, determined to cut through, and put yourself in shark-infested waters to follow despite your grown child’s rejection of you?

Or … do you turn, and look for a way to save yourself?

You see a shore in the distance. The beach looks lonely, and uncertain. It’s a brand new world there. Not what you expected to be facing at this point in your life. You don’t know what a future there holds.

Swim to shore.

It’s like this when our lives take a sudden unexpected turn. We can view potential shores as scary and uncertain, and decide to stay in the wake of a boat that’s left us. We might even convince ourselves that staying still, waiting for our child to come back, despite the horrible poison and threats to our survival is what a good mother or father would do. Our child will come back . . . won’t she?

The boat gets smaller on the horizon. The sharks are lunging and biting at the net. The angry words are spilling out an ugly, contaminating slick.

Despite what’s happening, we might feel compelled to swim after the boat. Isn’t following our child, despite the horrors, what a truly good parent would do?  After all, isn’t a parents’ love unconditional?

We look back toward the shore, but . . . what will others think if we turn away from our own child, and swim to safety?

Imagine yourself in the water.

Do you see the sharks? Feel the poison burning your lungs? Can you see your estranged adult child, getting smaller and smaller as the boat speeds away—-yet somehow he looms so very large?

Maybe the boat whips around, and roars close. Your child tosses out a life ring. Relieved and grateful, you reach for it—-this nightmare is finally over!

Then your child snatches back the rope.

abandoned parentsMaybe your child doesn’t yell at you from the boat. Maybe she never flung out ugly accusations. Maybe your child only sped away, and left you in open water. You’re still in their wake, growing more weary as the water closes in on you.

What do you do?

I know this is melodramatic, but when we’re faced with the utter shock of a child we have loved and supported turning on us, we can feel just as threatened. The choice we face is similar. The shore where we can get out of the water, escape the sharks and the poison may look lonely and uncertain, but what is the alternative?

Get out of the water.

Turn and swim to the shore. You may find sunny beaches, creative sandcastles, and refreshing waterfalls. Perhaps there will be a storm, cliffs to climb, or you’ll have to bushwhack to find a rewarding path. If you try though, you’re sure to find banana and coconut trees, perhaps even pineapples athink of yourself instead of grown childrennd friends.

Get out of the water. When you do, you’ll find there are people who parents of estranged adult childrencare and are willing to help. You may find yourself walking along a shore of pretty shells. And as was posted on the Help & Healing for Parents of Estranged Adult Children Facebook page recently, a passerby may ask, Shell we have a good day? How will you respond?  Get the book–and get out of the boat for good.


Related articles:

Emotional scars after an adult child’s estrangement

Taking Care of Yourself

Reinvent yourself

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37 thoughts on “The Boat

  1. Toni

    I am so grateful for this book, and these posts!! My daughter, her dad and I had a falling out. I said cruel things to her, and now as a result she has disowned her family. I totally regret and am completed devistated by my moment of bad parenting! One sentence, ended my relationship with my daughter. I only spoke the truth to her, but will probably pay the price forever. I have profusely apologized, via letters and texts with dead silence in return. I am in the water right now, totally hating myself and sometime I feel like the worst person to exist.
    Again, I am so grateful for your posts. I am sorry for all of us, and I am sorry that we have to be in this, but at least we are not alone!

    1. Barb

      Dear Toni, I believe all these angry adult children are unhappy with how their own lives have turned out and blaming us their parents is the easiest way to relieve their anxieties, I like you constantly wonder what I could of done differently ,but being punished by their absence is unacceptable, we did everything for our kids too, they can call us crappy parents well I call them crappy kids, and with God’s help I will strive for happiness with or without them, best of luck to you!!

    2. Helen

      Dear Toni, I am new here, but can relate to your pain. You are not a bad mother! You are human. One sentence should not end a parent/child relationship. She may have been hurt or angry by your comment, but she should be adult enough to express her feelings without cutting you out of her life.
      My daughter has had a falling out with my husband and myself. The uncertainty about what to do is awful. She tried to take her life and our intervention and subsequent actions have led her to tell us that “we crossed the line.” She will not speak to us and has told us to stop reaching out. I too, am in the water, not sure which way to go. I’m fearful that she may try again and this time we won’t be there to stop it. But I can’t tread water forever, I know I need self care in order to be there should she decide to contact us.

  2. Reena T.

    I cried reading all the comments and now I feel I am not a bad mom. My daughter left home, without telling us, on her 18th birthday and moved in with her boyfriend who is 8 years older to her and has a 8 year old daughter. They leave half way across the country. The only time she talks to me is when she needs money. She says she wants to get a degree and I pay for her expenses. But the verbal abuse of we are not good parents, we never did anything for her, our family is not normal, we never celebrated birthdays etc etc. breaks my heart. I think I am still in the wake and am still hoping things will turn around.

  3. Sherrie

    I’m new here but not new to the heartache over having an estranged daughter for over 14 years. One day I’ll share my story, but for now its just nice to know I’m not alone. Today is Mother’s Day, the most dreaded day of the year for me. I’m doing what I can to stay positive and not wallow in grief over a lost child. Thanks for sharing all of your stories and experiences. It does help just to know there are others in the boat with me going through similar experiences.

    1. Barb

      Dear Sherri, Birthdays holidays and especially Mothers Day is extremely painful for me as well, so my husband and I have decided that on the Birthday of our son we celebrate by going to our favorite restaurant, we cannot change what our kids do or think, but we can strive for our own happiness, and give our adult children’s lives to a higher power,best of luck to you!

    2. Theresa

      Dear Sherrie,

      I am new here as well. My son has recently removed himself from his father and me. This was the first Mother’s Day since he made me a mother that I had zero contact from him. It broke my heart. I have since read the “Done with crying Book” and read everything I can on this subject. It is comforting to know that I am not alone but it is so painful at the same time. I hope you are doing well. I just needed to respond to you and let you know that you are not alone. Take care.

  4. Annie

    That constant sinking feeling, impending doom. Its been 12 years, both my son & daughter. Like everyone, its a very complicated story. I heard my girl was pregnant, of course I wanted to know this but also I didn’t, as it means another person I’ll miss out on, my first grandchild. Well she delivered a baby boy on 6th March, third hand information told me he had complications 24 hours after birth, he lived 15 days and died 3 days ago. All I know of my first grandchild is that he was a boy & his name was Xxxxxx. I’m already heartbroken from loosing my kids I so love, now there’s a grandchild never to be met. My daughter & her fiance, who I’ve never met, will now be soaked in their own grief, a grief I wish on no one. I’m still swimming, I just don’t drown as often now. People are cruel, very few understand the situation of an alienated parent unless they themselves are one. You must’ve done something ? What happened etc .. as though you can answer in one short sentence. The devastation continues, I really don’t understand how anyone can “move on” when their own children who they’ve loved completely & devoted their lives too as they grew up, now refuse to have anything to do with them. I miss them so terribly, I cannot possibly just pretend they don’t matter any more. I also can’t hope anymore, they’re not coming back & if she did, I’d wonder what the next mouthful of abuse would be .. or has she grown out of that stuff ? So much more to this story .. constantly drowning, not always wanting that next breath. I’m not real tech savvy, not really sure how any other links work, like the website ? I tried clicking on the fb page but it said it wasn’t available ?

    1. Charlotte D.

      For myself, I have to try and forgive all the ugliness. That means, for me, letting go and hoping that my son and his family are happy. We can’t choose our family can we? And despite giving and giving and giving …adult children can find it so easy to take and take and give blame for perceived character flaws or errors in parenting to the ones who raised them. It’s baffling how his sister has a very different take on things. So, while I know we of course are not perfect, I know we were and are good parents. And I believe, if we are to be blamed in any way, it is fir raising a very selfish human being. We choose life and happiness. I know I will miss my son and his family from time to time, but we will not be abused by him or especially by his wife anymore. We are moving on and will not feel guilt or shame for that.

  5. Patricia C.

    Our adult daughter was estranged from us for the better part of 20 years. Not just her parents but eventually over time everyone that she ever knew, her siblings extended family and any friends. We never knew half the time if she was okay, and that for me was the hardest part. The details are very similar to the other posts and I was blindsided because to me she was the perfect daughter. I did everything that I was told to do, reached out over many years, was in therapy and followed everyone’s advice. Silence was the response. After 14 years and the birth of a new grandchild I stopped what I was doing and let go. Shortly after that my son-in-law contacted us to see if we wanted to see our grandchild . It was then that we finally got back in contact. Today I have a wonderful relationship with my grandchild and talk with her almost every day. If I had it to do over again I would not have continued for years to reach out. It was best in my case to let go because the pain and unbelievable shame over those years was almost more than I could bear. There were times when I didn’t know if I would survive but I never stopped praying for them and believed that I would someday see my grandchild. I have no advice for anyone in this situation because each person’s journey is different but to have hope because that is what keeps us going.

  6. Veronica D

    Incredible analogy, and had an arrow pointed straight at me while I sank. He’s harbored anger since I divorced his father, nearly 17 yrs ago. His verbal abuse, mocking, threats, maligning, judging were too much, he’s 28 married & my 6 yr old granddaughter is the real casualty. I had to draw the hard boundary once & for all just this past October. Zero contact. I’m 100% certain he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’ve tip-toed, walked on eggshells etc. far to long. I was extremely close to my DIL, but zero contact for obvious reasons. What breaks my heart the most is my 21 yr old son, whom I had a great relationship decided to “join” him & refuses to speak to me now. My Christmas gift box for my granddaughter was returned to sender. I’ve lost both sons, my DIL & granddaughter. That’s all I have. My entire family is deceased, parents & both sisters. I obsess over it constantly. This is so difficult. Right now, I feel stuck in the water..

    1. rparents Post author

      Dear Veronica,

      I’m very sorry that you’ve had to endure this abuse, mocking, threats, maligning, judging…

      In finding this site and posting here, you have begun to swim to shore.

      Sheri McGregor

    2. Lynne R.

      Veronica big hugs to you..I know exactly how you feel and where you are..almost the exact scenario for myself,..2 children a boy and girl, divorce that started out amicable, but dads new wife’s attempt at alienating me severely damaged my son close with dad, absolutely created NPD for him..remarried to have another child 10 years later, he helped contribute to that divorce, and just horrific to me over the years, even a physical moment, would use me when stuck time and again sucking me back in, to then abusively disconnect even gleefully when I was no longer needed, I finally lost it about 7 yrs ago and fought back, and hadn’t seen him nor grandson for years, untill my younger sons wedding 2 years ago whom I have a great relationship with, and attempted to start trouble targeting me there but my youngest stopped it..since then my daughter had done the same thing on and off over the years, was not “as” abusive and would stick around longer, however always the same result..the minute im not needed or crisis resolved, just emotionally and verbally vile while kicking me to the curb as she has now done for 3rd time, and cutting off from grands..and newly married youngest living out of state and bright spot as remained neutral has decided to move back home, and closer to them, I can see the mind poisoning taking place, and as my daughter even threatened me losing all 3 of them in one of her vile filterless verbal am stuck also in a present pond while at the same time fearing once I do get to shore, will some how get now thrown back in, and with the final and best of my kids being lost due to this evil deep seeded anger and contempt towards me as well and anticipated manipulating by the others..

    3. Sue

      Hi Veronica! My ex husband is a covert narcissist and my only child hated him. He told her we were divorcing and she just turned on me… he has the money and I don’t. I spent two years just trying to work it out… I was so close to her. However the verbal abuse and lies have been staggering and I strongly believe she is just like her dad. There is not one ounce empathy and between them they broke me… BUT I decided to leave; full of anxiety, fear and uncertainty. I believed I was to blame for it all. I tried to make things right but was met with silence then more abuse. So I carried on my swim to shore (with arm bands ). I’ve landed on a new island, remarried and have a wonderful step daughter who is actually nice to me!!!! I’m the mum she always wanted!! My only other family is my dad who is 86! So I moved him closer to me… now I’m a wildlife photographer and the business we set us is doing so well… I’m continually trying to retrain my thinking to look at what I’ve created and understand that it wasn’t all down to me… my daughter isn’t a very nice person; something inside is missing. I couldn’t fill that void inside, nothing is ever enough. I can’t face another twenty years of battling with this pain… it won’t ever go but it’s down to working on acceptance and making room for the good stuff however small. You can do this, it’s so worth fighting for yourself ❤️

    4. Barb

      Dear Veronica, although my story is different, it’s very similar in alot of ways, I feel this is a trend and I’ve heard so many heartbreaking stories besides this site. This has changed my happy-go-lucky personality to a negative, resentful person,don’t get me wrong i work hard at finding happiness, but a person can only take so much, I wish I had answers for all of us, but unfortunately I don’t, I will however include you in my prayers and thoughts and I wish you all the happiness you deserve!

    5. Blümchen

      This too shall pass ; you will feel better again !!
      I agree I can’t just totally give up hope but I can let Him be who he is ,
      at this time he is my son that most of the time ignores my reaching out or is very dismissive ; unkind etc
      He had a difficult childhood his father was an alcoholic, drug addict and abusive to both of us ;
      I divorced his father after that he wouldn’t have contact with his Son because they were supervised visits and when my Son was 13 his father died of an overdose ;
      So I know mySon did not receive what he deserved as a child , but I also know I was as a good mother under very difficult circumstances !!
      2 years ago when I visited him ( had to stay in hotel ) for a long weekend out of state we did have a 30 min conversation where I thought finally I broke through his armor he felt so close but once I left things went back to the usual ignoring not responding etc ,
      Finally at that point to accept what is and let him be !!!
      It is time I live fully regardless of this cross I have to carry !
      GOD and all my beautiful Mom friends on this website give me strength and peace
      Acceptance of a situation doesn’t mean we agree with it or like it but acceptance stops the interior constant battle against a situation we truly have no control over !!
      So just for today I will respond different and will be at peace
      Much love ❤️

  7. Alyson

    I can’t tell you how much this analogy of The Boat helped me. It expressed beautifully.exactly how I felt. Almost six months on from the rejection and accusations, I can say that I am on my way to ‘the island’ and ready to explore the new chapter of my life.
    My husband too, has been greatly encouraged by the emails and acceptance which joining this group has brought.
    Thank you again.

  8. Harmony57

    I have to learn yet to stop chasing after that boat. My 30 year old son eloped with my 26 year old cousin. Her parents which are my aunt and uncle love the idea of my son being married to her. I tried to accept it first until my cousin wanted a wedding shower but only for people over or at least 21 for alchohol at my home. I said fine but my youngest sons girlfriend has been living with us and shes 20. My cousin said no she can’t be there. I did the wrong thing I called her a bitch. I apologized sent snail mail letter email texts begging for forgiveness. No response. I called my son and said I was sorry he said my cousin does not forgive hardly at all. I got mad and said you went from a working girlfriend who had one gifted boy for 7 years. He helped raise her child from 1to 7 years old to a woman who does not work with 2 children from a previous relationship who is my cousin. One of her kids is special needs. My son now supports her and her 2 children. I went to counciling because of my constant crying about it. I apologized many ways snail mail phone messages. Gifts on all their birthdays and Christmas. Now I only send gifts to the kids. My husband gets a text from our son thanking him. My husband says it’s your mom who does this and wishes he would make up with me. For awhile my husband would meet him out for dinner once a month and kept saying you need to make up with your mom after8 months my husband stopped seeing him. He told my son this has been going on too long. My son no longer contacts him. It’s been 18 months now. I asked my aunt to pray for a reconciliation between me and my son and daughter she said I only pray for healthy relationships. My 2 other sons and daughter still see him but just him not his wife and kids but not very often. This site is wonderful. I ordered the book and workbook. Cant wait to get started

  9. Regina

    This has opened my eyes. Our daughter left completely in the face of unemployment and the pandemic. With a final f you Dad, she sewed to our other son about our insensitive
    Natures. It was all reaction.
    She leaves her special needs brother and family. We’ve never abandoned her. Never. We have standards of respect towards her special brother and am wondering if I never held the same standards for her. Have so many questions.
    We do our best.
    We wish her well. We cannot fall apart ourselves.
    Have a sister who did this to my Mother for the last three years of my mother’s life.
    I suppose people can only process so much in different mental states and times in life. This is all pouring from my broken heart.
    Finding a way forward. Thank you for being here.

  10. Diane

    How can this happen ? I’ve asked thousands of times. I’m reading your book and it’s early stages yet but can’t really swim to shore even though I want to.
    My son married a women who has mental health issues. She took on my granddaughter at 4yrs old. She never cared for her and has led her a shocking life of bullying which we have had to witness. Our son just ignores it.
    I asked to talk with him on his own to tell him I’m worried about the granddaughter. He exploded and swore at me then sent a text saying he did not want to be our son anymore…goodbye.
    Our Granddaughter is having counselling and they nearly broke her. We see her even less now as the stepmother has her on tracker, when she is here she rings her up !! Very controlling. I think they both will loose her in the end.
    I have no feeling for either of them only granddaughter. Who is struggling with her mental health.

  11. Stephanie W.

    I can’t go into full details of my story as it spans many many years and is far too complex.
    For me I go so long living my own life which is really good and then I decide to swim towards the boat which results in my old wound being open yet again,my tears are the tears I could get drowned in and I could disappear into my own wound.
    This is how it feels.
    I am so scared to swim to the shore but for years I know this is what I need to do.
    I need to save myself once and for all.
    All the backwards and forwards doesn’t do me any good at all and affects my mental health and overall wellbeing.

    1. Regina

      I’m doing the same right now, I’m guessing the shore is hope for myself. The boat is hope for my relationship.
      My daughter is good and I can’t give up hope yet. Inching there, with my husband.
      The best to you.

    2. Finished

      Yes, you need to do what’s best for you. I’m done with my son. Should have done it years ago. I’m doing it for my mental and physical well being. We need to take care of ourselves. If we don’t, who will?

    3. Blümchen

      Boy can I relate to that !!!
      What makes me think that this time will be different ; this time the sharks will not bite , but they always do …
      If the boat wants to come to the island with a peace flag that would be grand , but I surely need to stop swimming after that toxic boat !
      We do need to be gentle with ourselves ; we can always start anew and do it different !!
      Much love ❤️

  12. Mirna

    Wow I’m just in tears reading everyone’s nightmares from they’re estranged adult children and it’s so true it’s not just the parents suffering it’s the siblings too. My 14 year old daughter had a very difficult time because she just couldn’t understand why and she also blamed herself, since there was a couple of times that she had to tell on my son because she would catch him stealing from us. So when he turned 18 he left home by that time my husband and I were having problems with my oldest daughter, not talking to us and not letting us see our grandkids. Found out later that she had a lot to do with the way my son was treating us. It’s been over two years since they both stopped talking to us and not just that, but the lying of how bad my husband and I were. My heart is broken and I can’t understand why. It’s time to move on I want to live again and not feel guilty about it.

  13. DeLynn S.

    My boat experience was being flipped off the side into the murky water, while my daughter’s husband threw dangerous weapons, and hurled unspeakable abuse. She never turned back.

  14. gjc

    This analogy really captured my attention. My son has increasingly distanced himself over 15-20 years to the point of zero contact. But along the way I have been blamed for his drug abuse, his father’s dementia, his falling out with his friends etc etc. While I know his accusations are not based in reality I keep feeling challenged by others as to why I have no contact with him now. The boat has sped off!

  15. Fio

    I thoroughly enjoyed this article and intend to get the book………just discovered this site and this is something that i really need. It’s been 2 years since my daughter has stopped wanting anything to do with me and I am now starting to walk to the shore, away from all the trauma and chaos and awful words sent my way. It’s hard because she has chosen to put all the blame on me and not her father who she reaches out to and who really does not understand my position. Now, I just avoid any conversation to do with her.
    I know her mental health issues have alot to do with her behaviour, but discipline has to also play a role.
    Her disability whether it’s borderline personality disorder or whatever it is should not allow her to treat me as she has. The shore will be a better place………thank you for this site, wish I had found it long ago!!!!

    1. Diane

      Fio I can empathise, I always thought …a son is a son till he takes a wife a daughter a daughter all your life ! Not so in many cases so I’m reading.
      What a sad world we live in …do they know how cruel they are ?

  16. Andrea

    I have been swimming toward the boat for the past several years. I get close and even grasp at the life preserver she tosses my way, but to no avail. I feel now that I am drowning and must do something to save myself. My experience is a little more confusing for me because for years my husband has not experienced her rage and lies. She does not treat him with the contempt that she has for me. In his mind, until just recently, he had thought we were merely having disagreements and that maybe I am inflicting insults at her. He finally came to my defense and she tossed him over the side of the boat! Now there are two of us in the polluted sea. Unfortunately, he still wants to keep swimming toward the boat, I have had enough. There are three absolutely adorable grandkids involved and we are very bonded. I just pray that they won’t be emotionally scarred by all of this! We live a half a block away from them and the kids have spent an immeasurable amount of good times with us! The heartwarming time with the kids have counter balanced the pain she gives me, but I fear she is forbidding the kids contact with me now. I just bought Sheri’s book last night, so hopefully in time my broken heart will mend.

  17. Alison B.

    This analogy has really hit home with me today. It is EXACTLY how I have felt. I am currently reading Sheris book. I’m only on Chapter 3 and am well on my way to swimming to that shore. I am a Mum of 2 daughters. My youngest has not been in touch for 3 years and up until last month I was floating in that water. Waiting and waiting for my baby to rescue me. Not any more. I have my eldest daughter who is a god send to me. She too has suffered so much missing her sister. She even sent a video of her unborn baby who is due next week to her and yet nothing.
    With the help of your stories and the book. I really am at that point now where swimming to the shore is exciting. I mean that in the sense of exciting that I can feel happiness again and I am lookong forward to finding those cocunut trees, beautiful sands and new beginnings. I will always have that hope that maybe one day I will see her again. But for now I’m determined to live my life, explore my new island and accept she is an adult who makes her own decisions. xx

  18. i will always love them

    i am s till suffering shock of what she has done. she took away my grandkids, and forced her husband to do the same to me. he actually likes me. but she made him choose. she did it because she was a victim of manipulation from her father (my ex) who had a 2 year affair on me behind my back. it is a complicated web……even if she was manipulated she is an adult and can think like one and choose to focus on all the love i gave her, rather than support the lie that her narcissistic “rabbi” father is a righteous person and i am the one to blame…..but she has chosen to uphold the lies and turn away from me. i will be swimming to shore shortly. i still have decided to have a relationship with my grandkids in thought, and spirit. i pray for them, think of them, and hope for them. and that still keeps me connected. my child? she is far away on a lost island right now.

  19. Donna C.

    Oh wow … this analogy so aptly describes my experience. Very few angry words directed at me – to my face. Complete lockout of the lives of ED & ES. It wasn’t just me left gasping in the wake of their boat it was also their 4 younger siblings.. completely guttered and bewildered we have each had to make the painful decision to swim assure. In my case I have swam ashore and then swam back out into the chaos many times. And my poor hurt and broken children (younger 4) have had to go through this too. Its not just Mum or Dad… it effects everyone who loves any of us.
    7 years into total block out…. several years of coming and going before that and now I am done!! its been harrowing but as I climb onto my shore for the last time and stand up and get on with building my ‘new’ normal life… my four younger ones are able to do the same. Thank you for this article and I to would love to see the artists impression…

  20. Carolyn7915

    It has been 4 years since my only child “terminated” our relationship. When I find myself thinking about her in a longing way I remind myself that she most likely isnt thinking about me in that way. Helps get me back in my own life/lane.
    I also find myself thinking about her less and less.


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