How do I love me? Let me count the ways. . . .

cut of by sons

by Sheri McGregor, M.A.

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. . . .

Does that title sound selfish to you? In this month when we celebrate love, I hope you will remember that you’re deserving of your own kindness and care. When we’re cut off by sons or daughters, we need all the love we can get. Below, I’ve listed a few points that link to posts to help.

How do I love me? Let me count SIX ways!

  1. By being compassionate, kind, and patient with myself.
  2. By taking good care of myself.
  3. By remembering my own strength, or the examples of others, during times of adversity.
  4. By participating in life; not letting time pass me by.
  5. By spreading a little happiness to also increase my own.
  6. By remembering that it’s good to give and to celebrating love.

cut off by sonsHappy Valentine’s hugs to all, and especially to the parents cut off by sons or daughters.


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2 thoughts on “How do I love me? Let me count the ways. . . .

  1. Cindy

    I am new to posting, so I hope it is ok to post here. For so long I have felt less than, not worthy. I suspect
    my daughter has felt this and that insecurity has impacted her. Now, I realize, sadder but much wiser,
    I am a good person. Yes, I made mistakes, but who doesn’t? My daughter and I are “ in touch “. I have not
    seen her in almost 7 years. I don’t know where her actual address is or her phone number. I do have her
    email. I send 4 or 5 emails to her 1. Should I count myself lucky? I did. Now, today, I realize that the
    passive aggressive attitude Is not enough for me. I am worthy of compassion. I am worthy of understanding. . I deserve more. If, in her estimation, that is enough, then fine. Is it enough for me?
    Sadly, no. I am constantly fraught with why she is so insensitive. Why continually punish me? I have noticed that if I email with frustration or impatience coupled with anger she writes immediately back to
    Me. Like I confessed to he, it is interesting the rare times I get angry you respond and the loving, gentle
    Emails are treated with silence and ignored. I wish she would help me understand. I feel that I have
    Permitted her to treat me with a disregard…and it continues. I don’t want it anymore. I want more.
    And, if my daughter is incapable then it is time to let go. How does one let go of the love of your life?

    1. Patricia

      Hi Cindy, I can totally relate to your situation. The daughter who cut me off because of who I voted for ( !) in the Presidential election in 2016, has come around. If it weren’t for the graduation of my granddaughter, I don’t know how long the estrangement would have lasted. So, I find my self wanting and needing more from her. Our calls and visits are congenial and loving, but it seems like I’m walking on egg shells so I don’t do or say anything to offend her with the result of her cutting me off again. It seems like I am the lowest on her priority list. When we talk, she’s either driving somewhere, or cooking or putting dishes away. I crave more from her, but I realize that I have to accept what she is willing to give. I am filling my life with friends and good works. I have a husband (who is not the father of my children) who is understanding and a son who suffers from PTSD. Or so he says. He has verbally attacked us for a myriad of reasons and I have now decided to armor myself by keeping conversations on the light side and when I feel another attack coming on, I will end the conversation politely. Sometimes I’m beaten down and will cry at the drop of a hat. I feel your pain. I guess we never let go. We continue to love them no matter how cruel they treat us. But we also have to draw a fine line as to maintain our own self-respect. I hope you can find peace in dealing with this. It’s so hard.

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