Sheri McGregor on radio: Holidays 2019

It’s Thanksgiving here in the U.S. Time to take notice of all we’re grateful for.

I had the pleasure of talking again with Daniel Davis at Beyond 50 Radio. We briefly discussed how rejected parents handle holidays. Maybe you’ll find a bit of the interview useful.

If you’d like to listen, it’s available on the Beyond 50 Radio YouTube channel (through this link).

How rejected parents handle holidays comes down to three basic ideas: planning, perspective, and knowing what you need.

Want more tips and information about how to handle the holidays when you’re facing the issue of estrangement from adult children? I’ve written about holidays since the site’s inception. Here is a sampling of those past articles below. Each one has links to other articles at the bottom as well, so you can click through for even more. Or, if you’d like to search for past articles and find more complete listings, use the site’s search box.

Holiday Help for Rejected Parents: Oktoberfest History

Estrangement and the holidays: Your perspective can help

Estranged: Enjoy the holidays anyway

Holidays for parents rejected by adult children

Holidays when adult children reject parents (post one)

Happy Thanksgiving to my U.S. friends (and hugs to all the rest)–Sheri McGregor

Past Interviews:

Mother’s Day Radio Interview

February Interview with Sheri McGregor

NABBW podcast

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13 thoughts on “Sheri McGregor on radio: Holidays 2019

  1. candleinthewind

    Well, I’m just having trouble dealing with the emotions, negative emotions, about how I act, all of which make me want to not go to (in the UK) Christmas events, whether at work or with other interest groups. I’m too aware of things I don’t like about myself, my behaviour, how the estrangement makes me irritable, judgemental of mistakes I make, which makes me less willing to try, to reach out. I know I want to change, but it all makes me cross and way too intense and self-critical and, and, and…..

    1. Barbara H.

      I do not feel that there is much consideration about parents that have had to estrange themselves from these grown adult children who have caused so much pain. I have had to do this to protect myself from the emotional, financial stress they have caused me. A lot is written about the their estrangement from us but not very much about how we feel about having to estrange them for our own physical and mental welfare.

    2. Cathy

      I *highly* recommend Sheri McGregor’s ‘Done With Crying’ book. I just purchased it on Amazon (Kindle version) and am *so grateful* for this book.

  2. Joly

    I do believe the Lord answers prayer, Our youngest Chad and middle son Lorne came by last week to help us install our new tile kitchen floor. It took the entire day but they seemed fine with it, we joked like we have not in many years. We are grateful to our boys as my husband is 76 and I am 72 so it sometimes takes us longer to get up and off the floor. Even though my husband is still on the job we know his time is close to full retirement. We thanked them & hugged and kissed them like old times. We still were not invited for Thanksgiving because they let us know they had previous plans but small steps are appreciated. We do not push, we just wait on the Lord and continue to love and believe.

  3. joly

    I would like also to say we stopped holding our breath just waiting around hoping they would respect us. We go and do and do not set around moping We decided not to cry about the way they act because we think they are not totally to blame, they have wives to deal with.We all have mates to honor, they will come under conviction, but until then we still have a life to live. We get out there and live it. God Bless you all.

  4. Floored-mom

    Stop right there and say out loud, “I am a good person!” Say it again! I truly understand, you’re heart is shattered and I feel your pain.

  5. Carolyn

    Hello, I feel all of your pain. I did not know how to handle all of this. My son handed my a** to me on a text message. I tried to ignore that. I would send a happy birthday text, no response, sent Christmas cards with a check in it. He cashed it but I did not get a thank you or a Christmas wish. So now, I will send a card without any money in it. I will always love him but will NOT be disrespected! A counselor helped me accept this problem. I keep myself busy after work with doing my crafts that I never had time to before. I learned to ride a motorcycle and I ride that and it feels so good! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him, but again, I will not be disrespected. DONE.

  6. Cathy

    Oh how I feel the pain of each person who posted here. In our situation our son is our only child. He was and is, very much loved. We sent him to private Christian schools K – Masters Degree and assured he graduated with no school debt.

    However when my husband (his father) developed a serious condition and was hospitalized over forty days (intermittently approx 10 days/episode) our son telephoned him once. A
    *brief* call that was promoted by a text from me notifying him of the gravity of his father’s condition.

    But, God is good! We still miss him and long for a return to the great relationship we had before his marriage (the impetus for his estrangement choice). However, although we’ve been estranged for eight years and haven’t seen our grandchildren, we’ve moved on. My husband has recovered nicely and we lead a full and fulfilling life.

    Some healing occurred after we had a will drawn up and arranged our assets so that neither he nor his wife will benefit financially from our demise. My point; allow yourself time to grieve and then move on. We cannot change others’ behavior or choices. I will not want to allow others abuse of me to define who I am.

    1. Gene

      Cathy…with a couple of exceptions your post could have been written by me. Our son is/was intelligent, respectful, responsible and was raised to be family-oriented. However, he was always a “follower” in his adolescence and looking back I realize now that he exhibited a pronounced lack of empathy. Enter his BPD wife who became the de facto dominant personality in their marriage. Sadly, our son was content to abdicate all aspects of his life to her including going “no contact” with every single person on his side of the family.

      If you’ve moved on and found peace I’m somewhat envious of you. We’re five years into the estrangement with no end in sight and I often think about this sad situation….sometimes several times a day. We try and take each day one at a time. If there’s any silver lining to this it’s that my wife and I have grown even more devoted to each other and we’ve also grown closer to our other son.

      I would caution you about depending on the will you had drawn up. There is no such thing as an ironclad will. The only way to ensure that your son/dil will not receive any legacy is to disburse your holdings while you are still alive.

      Merry Christmas to everyone reading this. May things change for us all in the new year.

  7. Cathy

    Thank you for your reply! I am very sorry for and *understand* you and your wife’s pain. And if there’s anything I can recommend it is to ‘keep holding on’ to each other and to God (there are no surprises to Him).

    Also, although the holidays are nearly over, I cannot stress enough the importance of planning ahead for holidays, birthdays and other meaningful-to-you dates, so that you’ll not be found home, feeling profoundly saddened and perplexed.

    This *not* to say my husband and I have not suffered (terribly), because we have. However, we have maintained a busy schedule with work, Church and social demands. And our sense of responsibility helped to ensure we upheld our obligations.

    BTW; your description of your DIL accurately describes our DIL and of course, our son’s response to her demands mirrors your son, too.

    One more thing… We’ve shared our experience with very few people; because unless someone knows us *very well* or has experienced adult child rejection, they simply cannot understand the situation. And we feared they’d judge us inappropriately.

    All that to say we’ve not had much support (until I found this website); and we’re eight years into our experience. On the plus side, our son/family reside some distance from us, so his absence hasn’t been hard to explain.

    Although we long for reconciliation, the proverbial ball is in our son and DIL’s ‘Court’. And we refuse to be defined by their abuse.

    Enough about us… Please take heart, your experience will get easier!

  8. josephine p.

    Im devastated i feel numb. Cry so much only child a son got everything. Has ignored my husband and i for 1 year. I was very sick the docs said call in the family he never answered or came to see me. Im now home recovering and did not die thank god. The shock of it. But its the heavy heart. Thats hard to mend. And the hurt and missing them. I pray that help will come cause i cry floods of tears every day.

  9. Lynda M.

    I am having a very difficult time excepting the fact my son will have nothing to do with me. He even said he hated me. I just don’t understand. It is so painful.

  10. Moonshine

    Our daughter has been estranged from us for nearly 4 years. She does not blame her father, just me. I do feel a failure and I do love her though I am emotionally afraid of her.
    Sometimes when I’m home I visualise her just turning up walking in the backyard. I won’t know what to say or do and I’m very nervous.
    On one hand I want her back and to have a whole family but on the other hand. I do not.


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