Take care…

adult children who have gone no contactJust a quick post to let all the parents of estranged adults know I’m thinking of them. With the hurricane barreling in and set to hit, I know many of you are worried and upset.

Adult children who have
gone no contact

Every time there is a major event like this about to start, or during the after-effects, parents whose children have gone ‘no contact’ and live in the affected areas suffer stress. They are faced with a dilemma about what to do.

Should they call the adult son who has rejected them?

Should they reach out to their daughter who is ‘no contact’?

If they do text or call, will the estranged adult child reply and put the parents’ mind at ease?

It can be a trying time.

adult children who have gone no contactIn the past article (from August, 2016) titled: When your adult child is estranged: What to do about life events, one presented situation is a hurricane. If you’re facing a dilemma about this storm (or other life event) and could use some clarity, I hope you will click through. Included questions can help you explore your thoughts and feelings, and come to some conclusions about what to do.

Meanwhile, if you’re in the affected areas or have loved ones who are, take good care. You have this community of thousands of hurting parents cheering for you, sending prayers and positive energy.

Hugs to you!

 

Sincerely,
Sheri McGregor

Related reading:

National Hurricane Center for up to date information

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5 thoughts on “Take care…

  1. Hope4self

    This past May, toward the end of my toxic relationship with my daughter who I’ll call Lokey. There was a tornado taring up houses near her. I texted Lokey to worn her. No response, no thank you. It was like any other time I reached out, not important enough to respond with respect. When I finally did get a call back 2 months later, she said didn’t return my text because the tornado didn’t hit her neighborhood. So narcissistic…

    Reply
    1. ReboundingMom

      Hello Hope4self! I feel your pain about your “narcissistic” daughter! After 7 years of my daughter’s intentional absence in my life, in order to “punish me” for marrying my best friend, and being happy with my husband (after 20+ years of divorce), she still likes to hurt me/tell lies with a comment to one of my sisters (who has also betrayed me), that the reason we are not seeing each other is, of course, “all my mother’s-and husband’s- fault!” Is there any hope for our sociopathic daughters?? We must learn to go on in our lives and let them live theirs: without a conscience! Thank you for sharing. We mothers need each other’s reinforcement.

  2. kellyrachel

    New to this site. Into a 2 year estrangement with my son. First year was begging/pleading with him to not believe his then girlfriend/now wife’s accusations. Now it’s just nothing. I’ve reached out twice to ask if we could begin a conversation. Nothing. I may be blocked. I don’t know. The “how can this possibly be?” is gut-wrenching. I know with every ounce of my being I was a wonderful mother. My 3 children were my life. After their father died 10 years ago I did everything humanly possible to get them through it with no regard to my own grief. When does one stop wanting to reach out and plead with them? To say please don’t do this. I can’t take it. But then also, how does one (even a mother) get past/forgive being brought to the depths of despair – even contemplation of suicide. Hope vs. healing? A mother’s love vs. shame and disbelief.

    Reply
    1. ReboundingMom

      Hello Kellyrachel,
      I identify with your situation of estrangement with all the “craziness” involved!

      I haven’t written on this site for months, although I had tried several times without luck. I had a strange “firewall” blocking my attempts, and I believed it was my x-son-in -law again, trying to break into my computer and disrupt my life, as he did in the past! That my only daughter would protect him, and not me-because she, too, had been monitoring my email to see who I was dating (she was always very jealous of my time, and hated any man in my life). When I caught them both at their illegal activity (when I met my husband) and called them on it, they shut the door on me (for the past 7 years) and took away my only grandchildren!

      I know I have grown greatly since then, facing the unthinkable: betrayal on top of cruel lies! I still look back on these years with disbelief…that I survived at all! Although I have the greatest friend I could ever have at my side, my dearest husband, he could not stop me from deep despair & rejection. I had to go though my loss alone, as only a mother could. That’s how it works, apparently, and that is how we grow.

      I never thought I could get past my grieving, but I have, for the “most” part. However, the deep pain of separation never really goes away; and Einstein’s theory of “entanglement” says it best: when two atoms interact, they stay connected through time and space forever; what affects one affects the other.
      I do not know how my daughter reacts to my loss, but she has to feel the emptiness in her life without me, as well. We were very close while she was growing up, but she always hated a man in my life after I divorced her father & was even envious of her father’s attention toward me! She obviously has a character flaw that I cannot fix. It is hers. If she decides never to see me again, and keeps my grandkids away, it is hers to bear. Karma will teach her a lesson, as it is teaching me about letting go of what we once thought was an impossible feat.

      I send each one of you parents a hug for your own similar losses. I so appreciate Sheri’s website that gives us mothers a place to vent our grievances, and our deepest desires, while learning to live without our children/grandchildren.

    2. Effie

      Kelly I understand too…. I do believe we have raised a entitled generation. I went overboard trying to be the perfect mom… Now, I have what I believe narcist son/ daughter. They are rude, disrespectful… and the grief was what I would call unbearable… 3 years now… I thought and heart how great a mom I was… Now, I have learned that narc… children like to take away any thing you treasure…. That was it.. My pride of motherhood… gone, ripped from my heart and soul… love to you dear… from one mom to another..

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