Troubling dreams: Why do I have them?

dreams after rejected by adult childMy adult child rejected me. Why do I have these disturbing dreams?

by Sheri McGregor, M.A.

Jumbled, chaotic, and even frightening dreams can be a normal reaction to the emotional trauma of an adult child’s estrangement. Your mind is working overtime to make sense of things.

Unfortunately, a troubling, night after night pattern of disturbing dreams after an adult child’s estrangement can cause loss of beneficial sleep—which can make you more vulnerable. Sleep deprivation can impact physical and mental health. For some people, their dreams become so disturbing that they’re wise to seek professional help.

For others, seeing their troubling dreams as a normal response, and even as useful, can be a positive change of perspective. Perhaps your dreams can even help you heal. Mine did.

For more about how my dreams helped me heal, read: Your vivid dreams: Can they help after an adult child’s estrangement?

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3 thoughts on “Troubling dreams: Why do I have them?

  1. Margo G.

    How do you talk to new friends about you child when that child is estranged? I am anxious about making new friends…Help!

    1. rparents Post author

      Hi Margo,

      I covered making new friends in both of the books. The latest book has more info on making friends in general, too. There are so many people at later ages who find they need to build a community! It’s a phase of life for many… And yes, the estrangement can compliment things. However, you can have “ready answers” as talked about at length in Done With The Crying. And you can also define what you want out of friendship, how a friendship has more meaning as we age, and then seek what is good for us. You don’t have to tell everyone up front, but you might be surprised how many people CAN relate. This estrangement of adult children is a real pandemic.

      Come up with some answers that make sense to you, that feel “okay” to you to say. I recommend honesty but that doesn’t mean you spill it all out with a new person. “I have a daughter but we aren’t close. How about you?” A lot of people are perfectly happy moving on to talk about themselves!

      HUGS to you, Margo. I’m sure you would make a wonderful friend and I know there will be new friends who will love you.

      Sheri McGregor

    2. Karen

      It’s really up to you, but just by listening to people who have NOT experienced estrangement they don’t understand and are likely to blame you for the broken relationship. This man I know goes to comfort people who are dying and has met souls who are estranged. He said to me that he wonders what the dying person did…..Personally, I would not talk to strangers or a new friend. Better to have the listening skills of a psychologist. It’s no one business. Keep it private. Lots of nosy people out there who do not understand.


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