When your adult child's instability hurts you: video w/Sheri McGregor

Thank you Sheri. Sometimes our Estranged makes us feel like we are on the Repeat button. Estranged was dx with borderline personality disorder. Many in my family have it. I just thought my family was mean. I didn’t know it was a mental health disorder.

We’ve already been told to stay out of Estranged adult’s life and stay away from grandchild. 4 years ago at Xmas Estranged demanded that cousin, then sibling, then parent and then both of us take care of them after 2nd hospitalization for anorexia. Lots of lies about the ex beating them up and loss of custody.

No one could take it anymore but me. So it was daily we love you. Heal. Work with your counselor. Fortunately my counselor was right there to tell me the bruises were not from abuse. If their counselor wanted contact, estranged would have to sign paperwork allowing this. Finally I got dreadful vicious attack and blame for estranged horrid life.

We blocked Estranged because we parents and siblings could not take it anymore.

Now 4 years later nothing changed. Estranged sent pix of emaciated body, hair loss. Friend and sibling said estranged lost custody and visitation rights to the father for over a year. Estranged was directed to contact us using civil language etc.

I lost all hope when Estranged left for 3rd time, but my spouse always had hope. My spouse had been crying a lot. Our other adult children and both of us discussed addicts who could not quit and alcoholics who also died from their addiction.

We have no contact with our grandchild but we feel what little we know of the father that he is the better parent. Yes we did text and write, no response.

I grew up in chaotic family and gave birth to what I ran from. Sheri is right. Our suffering matters too. My other grandchildren do not need chaos, screaming and disappearing relatives. We are very very sad but we cannot solve our estrangement from just our side.

And yes with borderline how much behavior is in their control and anorexia starves the brain too. We were there during the first hospital stays for borderline, suicidal threats and then anorexia. After the estrangement we left our adult child alone as requested.

3 thoughts on “When your adult child’s instability hurts you: video w/Sheri McGregor”

Tammy B
September 21, 2026 at 6:08 am

Thank you

K
September 10, 2026 at 5:07 pm

Thank you Sheri. Sometimes our Estranged makes us feel like we are on the Repeat button. Estranged was dx with borderline personality disorder. Many in my family have it. I just thought my family was mean. I didn’t know it was a mental health disorder.

We’ve already been told to stay out of Estranged adult’s life and stay away from grandchild. 4 years ago at Xmas Estranged demanded that cousin, then sibling, then parent and then both of us take care of them after 2nd hospitalization for anorexia. Lots of lies about the ex beating them up and loss of custody.

No one could take it anymore but me. So it was daily we love you. Heal. Work with your counselor. Fortunately my counselor was right there to tell me the bruises were not from abuse. If their counselor wanted contact, estranged would have to sign paperwork allowing this. Finally I got dreadful vicious attack and blame for estranged horrid life.

We blocked Estranged because we parents and siblings could not take it anymore.

Now 4 years later nothing changed. Estranged sent pix of emaciated body, hair loss. Friend and sibling said estranged lost custody and visitation rights to the father for over a year. Estranged was directed to contact us using civil language etc.

I lost all hope when Estranged left for 3rd time, but my spouse always had hope. My spouse had been crying a lot. Our other adult children and both of us discussed addicts who could not quit and alcoholics who also died from their addiction.

We have no contact with our grandchild but we feel what little we know of the father that he is the better parent. Yes we did text and write, no response.

I grew up in chaotic family and gave birth to what I ran from. Sheri is right. Our suffering matters too. My other grandchildren do not need chaos, screaming and disappearing relatives. We are very very sad but we cannot solve our estrangement from just our side.

And yes with borderline how much behavior is in their control and anorexia starves the brain too. We were there during the first hospital stays for borderline, suicidal threats and then anorexia. After the estrangement we left our adult child alone as requested.

1. Sheri McGregor
  September 15, 2026 at 6:48 pm
  
  Thank you for your thoughts, K. Your last point, about protecting your other grandchildren. Yes, so many make this choice. As the aging generation (parents, grandparents) we must protect ourselves, too. Hugs to you dear, K.
  Sheri McGregor